I’ve been thinking to myself how I’m all talk and no action. That’s been the mantra I’ve been beating up myself with. Wondering if my nomadic nature is really just self destructive.
You see, I have many individual dreams. In there fullness they are big. So in one lifetime I can’t do them all. But I’m greedy or lazy.. I don’t know which is which. I have decided to settle for all in small crunks. So imagine that child who takes a small bite at all the drum sticks served for everyone. Actually no.. that’s not it. It’s more like a friend who nibbles at everyone’s different orders. I pick a french fry here, a slice of pizza there, a bite of someone’s burger, grab a folk full of salad from my vegan friend, a finger lick of gravy there, maybe have a look at another’s muchomo, and take a whiff of someone else’s hot wings… yeah. I involve my senses. But I can’t finish the food on my plate or anyone’s plate. And thus it seems like I’m all talk and no action. And it kind of is self destructive.
The big idea is presentation. I’m working on a plan. But first I have to vocalise or write down my dreams and then connecting the dots so I’m not stuck feeling incomplete and hopeless when I stop at something and it looks like i’ve giving up yet the truth is am saturated. So Vision board..
Current compilation of my dream.
I’m a lady moved out of my mothers home. Maybe living with my life partner (definitely male: these days you have to specify) and maybe child or a housemate(s) (because I refused to go full on loner especially with how fast my social life decays: introvert problems). I have a garden with fruits, spices, herbs, flowers. I do introvert fun things like reading sewing, painting . I kinda want a picnic now.. the house/apartment has a loft like setting and we get to rotate the look once in a while. We have a lot of bespoke pieces. We have field trips, the fridge has yorgurt, icecream and cake. Juice, cereal, we definitely have wine. I work at home mostly. Freelance landscaper. I do architect projects too. I don’t think I will have a t.v I will have a radio though and a projector.. so I have that cinema life… I am either a columnist writing on architecture/design and living or an editor for a design ‘zine. Online or print…. My life is run on culture. So I have traditions. Like I celebrate birthdays, aniversaries, I have family gatherings. We celebrate the new and old things in our lives big and small. Also my closet is banging. My cooking is spectacular. And my property wacky. (Cat cups, grass carpet, telephone booth shower.. ) things wacky like that but not exactly that.
Dreams are never black and white.. or shades of grey. I consider my dreams a blueprint for my life… so my life should produce colours that don’t exist.. I’m planning on whipping up some serious magic in this life of mine..
So about all talk and no action. I don’t think it’s true. My action’s involve sampling, tasting and dreaming. I like my foundation rock solid. And I know life is settle on shifty tectonic plates. And foundations can break. But somehow I know I’ll be fine. After all God is magic. And I am on that seismic design game.
Feature image by Whitney Lanier Freelance Illustrator & 3D Modeler